Most people around the world are probably enduring some sort of home-quarantine of sorts. Looking back at the beginning of the year, who would have imagined that just a few weeks in and already a quarter past New Year, and we’re all in the throngs of the Novel Coronavirus NCov Covid19 pandemic. I can’t imagine or remember SARS being this horrible, or any other disease or virus that has come up or existed in the last 31 years of my existence. But with it being just 2 weeks shy of May, it’s hard to remember what life was like before Covid19. Or more aptly put, it’s hard to imagine how life will be after Covid19 comes to end — whenever that may be (but hopefully soon!)

Metro Manila was put into lockdown on March 15, and that meant limiting the movement of around 11 million people in the country’s capital. That meant no going out of your homes, no going out of your barangay, and definitely no socializing with friends or family. What made it harder back home is that the first few cases, and many of those who died from Covid19, in Manila, were from our little city. Many of those who perished were also related to friends of mine, which hit harder. You always imagine it happening to someone else, but rarely to people you know, or people whom your friends know or are related to.

I’m 4o0 kilometers away from home. Of course, where I live now is still home to me, but in a different sense.

We didn’t start our community quarantine until after Metro Manila did. And we didn’t start our Enhanced Community Quarantine (ECQ) until 2-3 weeks after Manila did. Even when the community quarantine was put in place, life did not come to a complete stop. It did change though. The way we moved around and the way we spoke and did things did change. I’m thankful, because being at work despite everything that was happening, gave me something to drown myself in. Being busy keeps your mind from wandering into horrible thoughts. It gives you more time to worry about others instead of worrying about yourself–which paranoia has a certain way of exaggerating.

Yet, even when we went into ECQ and there was limited movement around the city, I was thankful because there was still so much to do. Even when we weren’t at work, things at home kept me busy. Bathing and feeding the dogs, watering the garden and the vegetable garden, doing housework like cooking (sometimes), cleaning up after meals and sweeping/mopping the floor, and other chores. Whatever down time I had in between was spent reading, or catching up on sleep (taking short mid-day siestas). I tried to imagine what would have happened had I been in Manila when the quarantine struck. I’m sure it would have driven me crazy, being in such a small place and unable to go about. There’s not enough movies or books that would have made what would now be about Day 37 of the lockdown, any easier. The fresh air and the larger space/garden here has helped ease the worries and stress over Covid19, just a little.

Of course, nowadays is a different matter. It’s back to work for us since we’re under the list of essential businesses. My daily chores have been cut back to a minimum once again. Part of me is thankful, because chores day in and day out can become redundant, especially when you’re not allowed out. Being at work gives me purpose — something to do, people to interact with, and other things to worry about. Sometimes, it’s easier being at home. Othertimes, it’s easier being at work. The reality is: reality has changed. Even when work keeps me busy, there’s a different kind of fatigue from it. Forced to wear a mask all day long. Forced to smile (even behind the mask) and exhibit a sense of positivity even when things look bleak. Forced to disinfect my clothes and myself the moment I come home so I head to dinner as clean as I can be, and without bringing to the table whatever it is that I’ve maybe brought home from work. It’s tiring. And sometimes it feels like no amount of washing or disinfeting can remove the weight of it.

Covid19 has definitely forced everyone to change their outlook on life, and the way we do our daily activities. Still, in spite of all difficulties, one has to try and look at the positive things in life. There’s always something we can be grateful for, in spite of all the difficulties this pandemic has brought about. If we don’t look at the positive spin of things, what else is there to look forward to?

Sometimes, I try and think of what it would be like to just FAST FORWARD to the time when Covid19 is behind us. We don’t forget it, but at least it won’t be a heavy dark cloud hovering above us every second of our lives. I can’t wait for that time to come, and I’m sure everyone does too.