Melody ringing,
melody fine,
melody singing,
melody mine.
Lullaby tunes,
in a lullaby whisper,
lullaby rhythm,
sang my lullaby wisher.
Silence ringing softly,
silence unheard,
silence in the darkness,
sang this silent little bird.
—
These songs of the sleepless whisper in the dead of night, and who am I to fight them when they call to me?
I cannot see
past today,
past right now.
Later is an uncertainty.
Tomorrow, a mystery.
The future, doubts and possibilities.
I walk blind.
Tick tock, tick tock.
I spotted a tick by the clock.
I finger-kicked the tick,
And nicked it like a rock.
I swung at it, locked,
Killed it,
And made a pock.
And I gawked,
At the stock
It left on the frock.
Tick tock, tick tock,
No more tick, just a clock.
It seems the trigger
was time;
and how I could not see,
nor feel,
nor realize
what lay by me,
I shall regret.
But the trigger is not the end
and it isn’t the beginning;
it is the discovery of an existing existence.
It is the journey in an adventure.
It is this life to an old soul.
What lies before,
we cannot return to.
What lies ahead,
we cannot foretell.
But what lies before me,
was the trigger I pulled,
and the outcome it heralded.
—
Why does the new year bring to light such horrible truths?
Pull the trigger says my heart, don’t says my brain. And my soul cares not, for I am one life in a million that was and will be.
You come,
a visitor in the night.
The feel of your gaze,
your touch,
your breath,
it is all too real.
I remember your whispers
and I hear your laugh;
those words that make me smile
as you hold me gently in your arms.
You and I,
me and you,
we are all that exist,
all that I know,
all that I remember.
When I awake from slumber,
these are but haunted memories.
Moments that court my fears.
Shall you haunt my dreams,
or will you haunt my reality too?
—
This poem came to me as i was attempting to sleep earlier today after the new year’s fireworks. It started out as a couple of words that eventually turned into more than just a few lines. There are naught but these few words to say, aside from the conflict that exists within.
Hopefully this year will signal a year of changes, so that this conflict will finally be resolved, whichever way it may go. And also so that these dreams continue to haunt me no more.
A lot of things have been bugging me lately. Not just in the negative sense, mind you, but a lot of things just feel chaotic and confusing, like so many things in me want to happen at the same time and I sometimes wonder how I’m going to get everything done. I’m sure a lot of people feel this way too.
I’m just at a point in my life when I’m wondering where this is all leading to, and am I really doing what I want, or asking myself if this is the direction I want to take. And the biggest question is, do I have the skills and the patience to achieve what I really want? I can’t help but wish that someone had the answer, like someone from the future would come to the past and tell me, “hey, you will be able to achieve this and that”, or something along those lines. Yes, I’m sort of wishing for the Meet the Robinsons plot to happen to me.
Deep down, I’m still just a confused kid…
Welcome, for I’m at the Edge of Chaos.
I’m standing on the edge
Where the world has come to an end
And nothing lies before me
But an abyss of black and white
Reality is distorted
And the truth is but a lie
I’m standing in chaos
Surrounded by a dying world
A place of hurt and sorrow
Of pain and suffering
Emotion is a feeling
Love and hate is but a word
I’m standing at the middle of it all
Watching as everything collapses
Falling into the black hole
Never to return
The end is eternal sleep
Death is but another adventure
Poem is copyrighted from my deviantart account, circa 2006.
♥黄绮思
—
Pinyin version of poem above:
Fēn xīn de wǒ, nǐ xiànzài nǎlǐ?
Gūdú de nǐ, qǐng zhǎodào me.
Làngmàn de wǒ, bùyào xiǎng duō de mèng,
Wánghóu de nǐ, qǐng bùyào ràng wǒ děng.
Rough translation of poem above:
Distracted me, where are you?
Lonely you, please find me~
Romantic me, do not dream too much,
Princely you, please do not make me wait.
During a short break at work that required me to just stand still and watch over the store, I was so bored that I started drawing and writing poetry. I was writing English poetry when I just thought of a few random and simple Chinese words and made them into a poem. Original one has been edited to mean something better, and to sound much better. I feel sort of pleased, considering it’s in Chinese (albeit very simple) and also because I just miss my poetry writing days. It’s amazing how sometimes, the days you feel the most BLAH, are days where you are inspired to write.
There’s nothing in what I wrote that has to do with anything I’m feeling or experiencing right now. But I guess a part of me that just wants to grow up and be realistic, is fighting a side of me that wants to stay naive and romantic.
